今天我十分的伤心...十分的心痛......

昨晚我做了一场很不可能会发生的梦...
那就是她自动的打电话给我...
我们俩在电话里还聊的很开兴呢...!

但在我起身的时候...
看了电话之后...
我才发觉到原来只不过是一场梦......

但这些不是令到我伤心, 心痛的事...

我伤心和心痛是在我看了她的 blog 之后...
她的 blog 只不过是一句话就已令我伤心和心痛...
那就是>>"2day my suprise present sampai dear thr ady . ."

'today' , 'suprise present' , 'sampai thr ady'
这三段字也就是说...
她早就已准备了一份 suprise present...
按排了那天会到她 d*** 那边...

只不过是 Merry Christmas...就已可以看的出她几用心...
但她跟我在一起的那个时候, 我的生日那天呢???

我只不过是得到一封谁都可以 send 的 Happy Birthday msg...

如果谁看了我今天写的这个 blog 觉得我很小气...
我也没话讲...只可以成认......

昨天...
我看见报纸有一个心理测验...
是关于你会不会和你的久情人死灰復燃...
当时我有着一股好期心...
所以我就玩玩看...看会得到什么答案...
当我知道那个答案的时候我非常的高兴...
因为那个答案是 "很有可能"


近来...
我收到很多的短讯, 关于 Merry Christmas 的...
我还记得有一封是说...
"如果你把这封短讯 send 给 17 个朋友的话,
你的愿望就会实现..."
当时的我傻傻的就把那封短讯 send 给了17个朋友...
希望自己的愿望会实现...

直到今天...
我真的忍不住 send 了一封短讯给她想跟她拿会一次机会...
但最终还是得不到...

她说了一句话令我非常的心痛...
她说 "他对我很好, 我跟他在一起也很高兴"

我直接想到...
以前的我们也是这样...但我们还是分了手...

她 reply 我的那些 msg 让我知道了一件事...
"以前那个常常对我微笑的 Marcella 己经不在了"...

Haiz...
现在我只希望...
她永远都不会忘记她以前所说的那个...
..."对她最好的男朋友"

刚才...
看到在我 facebook 的那一张...
..."我帮我前女友庆祝生日" 的照片有些人 comment...
就令我想起了一些伤心事...

我看着那张照片...
突然还想看 '买' 其它那些...
其实我也知道...
我看了那些照片会令到我很伤心...
但我还是看了......

在我看着那些照片的时候...
我还听着那首歌名叫 "越爱越难过" 的歌...

听着...听着......
看着...看着......

我的眼睛越来越多泪水...
一滴一滴的泪水也就慢慢的从我的眼睛流下了...

Haiz......

你不要以为我真的怕你啦! OK???
我不顶你不是因为我怕你...
而是因为我赖的跟你顶也不想跟你顶...

你什么事情都只看表面...
不清不楚就骂人...
你以为儿子生出来是拿来骂的啊???
真的是啊!!!

你每次讲
"讲你太多浪费我的力气罢了"
然后你也不是又讲..讲..讲..讲..讲......

现在啊...
我真的赖的讲你了啊.....!

Yesterday...
i go cinema watch movie with my family...
我发现在那套 movie 里的一句话很适合我...
那就是...

"要我放弃我自己不难,
但要我放弃我爱的人很难."

Haiz......
说真的...
我到现在仍然还是喜欢我的前女友...

之前我跟我的好友说什么
"我很讨厌她了..."
"我已忘记她了..."
等等...

所有都是假的...
骗人的...
我永远都忘不了我之前跟她度过的那些甜蜜日子...


我还曾听过一句话...
"你爱的人不一定会对你好;
而对你好的人也不一定是你爱的. "

这句话很有道理...
但我很不想发生在我身上...
谁知...
它就扁扁要发生在我的身上......

MY BLOG......我回来啦......

回头想想...
真的好久没写我的 blog 了...

因为之前...
我大姐结婚...有很多的亲戚都来庆祝...
忙东忙西的...
都没什么时间去写自己的 blog...

虽然说是忙东忙西的...
但忙的也很高兴...
热热闹闹的...不像平时...
整个家都冷清清的...

我这个人就是这样...
喜欢热热闹闹的...

但一并开心的事情, 热闹的时候...
对我来说...
都过的很快...
一下子...就过了...

现在...
又回到之前这样了...
整个家都冷清清的......

Haiz...
so long time liao havet write my blog...
tat bcoz my laptop give my mom 没收 again...
haiz...

today take back liao...
but dont know y...
havet mood write my blog orhx...

tmr juz write lar...
hope all my fren have a nice Saturday......

^^

我终于知道......我...错在哪了...

之前我老是责怪她...
说她错这个...错那个...
说她不珍惜我...抛弃我

总是觉得自己没有错...
就算觉得自己有错...也不知自己错在哪...
但今天我终于知道我自己错在哪了...
我也对自己发了一个誓...
"不再一而再再而三的责怪她"
因为...一个有错的人根本没有资格去责怪另外一个人...

今天下午...
我 sms 她...
想问她一个以经过了一段日子的问题...
那个问题我到现在还是不知它的答案...
也可以说...就是因为这件事而令到我们分手的...

但不知为什么...
她就是不肯吿诉我那个答案...
算了...也只好等...

在我在等她 reply 的时候...
没事做...就翻开自己的钱包...
想看看她的照片...
顺便也看回我门以前写过的一些信...
看着看着...
发现...
原来她以前也有过真心的对我...
随时随克都的关心我...
而是我自己根本没有发觉到...

我也发现到...
原来我以前是多么的小气...多么的硬头...
常常因为一些小事而发脾气...

试问...
一个女孩子怎么会喜欢一个小气的男生呢???

我还发现到...
太过的关心是不好的...
令到对方没有了自己的私人空间...

Haiz...
这么迟了才发现...
原来自己错的也不轻...

如果可以回到几个月前...
我还和她在一起...
我一定不会再那么的蠢...那么的小气...那么的硬头了...

到了现在才明白一切...
以太迟了...太迟了...

最后...
我忠诚的向她道歉...

"对不起"

"对不起我之前一直得责怪你..."
"对不起之前我一直弄到你 bad mood..."
"也对不起我之前一直烦你...常常 sms 找你问这个问那个......
...有时还讲那些无聊的东西..."

"真的很对不起"

Today everning so happy o...
bcoz i talking with her...
虽然 oni talk a while...
cant like last time jiang...talk 久久...
but oso 有说有笑的...
hehe......

But oni tat time happy...
now....
haiz.....

i "haiz" not bcoz her liao this time...
is bcoz my eye...

Bcoz......
我......
得了......
红..眼..症........

haiz...
this time not oni one eye o...
r two eye o....
so xin ku lo....
haiz...
sometime will automatic 流眼泪...
sometime will very 痒...
sometime will 痛 lagi......

HAIZ......

T.T

My eye too pain......

Haiz...
yesterday night my eye rili pain o...
bcoz yesterday wo bu shi use laptop to watch movie...
...jiu shi use television to watch tv...
haiz...
pain...pain...pain...pain...pain
so xin ku o...
my eye will automatic cry lagi o...
then i go find 眼药水 lor...
wah...so kasian o...
oni have oredi 过期的
haiz...

many time oredi i use watch tv to let me don think many many...
but yesterday night...i alone at 1st floor watch tv...
i think her again...
so hurt...
tat time i think her...
not think her together with me de happy things...
is think now she together with her bf will how???
haiz...

last time she tell me...
"做朋友就必须忘记以前的感情"
haiz...when i hear tat...
i dont know i can say what...
juz hurt bcoz she oredi can 完完全全当我只是她的朋友
until now...
i still cant 接受她只是我的普通朋友
still will very guan xin ta...
haiz...
i rili not use o...
oni want forget one girl oso like want died...

last time i c her blog...
she oso have say one word...
"开心也过一天, 伤心也过一天;
为何不要开开心心的度过每一天呢?"
haiz...
i oso think like tat...
but i still cant do dao...
bcoz everyday i dou will think her n miss her...
something i think she together with me de happy things i will happy lar...
but when i think she together with her bf...
she hold her bf de hand...
i will very sad n hurt...
也有的时候我想哭但都哭不出来...

haiz...
today my mood beng lai is better de...bcoz morning i chatting with her
i say many thing with her...until i very happy...

but after i c her blog...
i start eat vinegar...
bcoz everyday she write oni her thing n her bf de thing on her blog...
havet other...
but last time she together with me...
one thing about me oso din have write on her blog...
oni 20.7 tat day have...
but oso oni a little bit..

haiz...
i know...i oredi havet 权力 to eat her vinegar
bcoz i not her bf oredi...
but i still will eat...bcoz i still love her

haiz...
after i say about this things on msn with her...
she say y i always blame her...
i oso dont know...
juz feel very bu tai...
i do many thing for her oso cant 得到 her true love...
but now...
i dont know her bf got do what for her la...
but he can 得到哦...

haiz...
last time i do many thing for her...
juz xiang let her know...i rili love her...
hope she will 珍惜 me...
havet other 要求...
but until finally...
oso is brake...
haiz...

she say "难到爱一个人不是付出多少都是无所谓的吗?"
听来像是很有道理...
但我觉得
爱一个人付出很多, 是为了要得到对方的真爱
但我就连这个都得不到...
i rili feel i very stupid lo...
haiz...

haiz...may be is me 太看不开了
may be i oso have wrong i oso dont know...
haiz...

miss miss miss n miss

Haiz...
oredi 1a.m more le...oso bu xiang slp...

haiz...
y i today always think her n miss her de leh???
haiz...
juz now i xiang ply msg with her...
but dont know want say what with her...
xiang guan xin ta...but now she oredi no need my guan xin liao...
haiz...

y she will like tat???
who can answer me this question???

last time i together with her our very very very sweet de lor...
oni one tissue oso use together...
go throw rubbish oso want hold hand go throw...
n oni one smaller smaller biscuit oso want eat together o...
y cant continue this sweet leh???
sweet oni is a while de???
not forever de...???
who can answer me???????

Haiz...
may be i oso have wrong lar...
haiz...suang le...go slp n think better better larhx...

nitex everyone......

Today de mood ok ok lar...but still have a little hurt...

yesterday night i have a dream....
my dream have me, her, n all my best fren...
we together at eating...
but dont know y...i in my dream oni ply n talking with my best fren...
havet talking with her...

until afternoon
i go 1borneo shopping with my 2nd sister...
she juz like to c girl de shirt....
make i very boring at thr...
so i say with her i go go alone...bcoz too boring liao...
dont know y...i juz go go go n go...
oni go...
nothing to think...
but when i go until tat big door...
i start think...

think what???
think last time i meet her at 1borneo shopping...
our meet at 10.30a.m n meet at tat 'adidas' shop...

then i go to i wait her tat place again n stand at thr think...
i remember tat time i wait for her 3hours o...hehe....rili nget de o...
tat time i still havet hp...so i go go to c whr have telephone awam
rili rili rili nget o...1borneo c like very big...but one telephone awam oso din have o...
but finally i oso wait dao le...
she stand at opposite me n c me...rili rili sweet o...
but rili rili nget too lar...

after tat she come to me here n hold my hand...
tat time rili sweet o...
she hold my hand then say
"Wah...ur hand very cold orhx...sry barhx"
then i ask her..."what time now o"
she take out her phone then give me c...Wah...oredi 1.30p.m
i juz know yuan lai i wait for her 3 hours liao...
haiz...
tat time i not oni feel very cold o...feel hungry oso...

after i think tat...
i rewalk tat time i walking with her de 路线 until cinema...
本来 feel sweet 的我...
...after think tat thing 的我是 feel hurt de...
haiz...
i hurt bcoz now i oredi cant go shopping with her le...
n now she always go shopping with her now de bf...

haiz...lazy write oredi lor...bye......

Haiz......

Haiz...
today is my 1st write my blog...

Haiz...
dont know y...hurt again...
today go wisma shopping with my family...
shopping... shopping...
suddenly think dao...she today will go shopping with her now de bf
start hurt...hurt...hurt...n hurt
i stand at a way then think....
how she shopping with her bf leh?
happy than shopping with me?
together with he happy than together with me?
have many question go out let me think...
yue think jiu yue hurt...

y she can like tat...
she know i very hurt bcoz she...
haiz...
juz now i go c her blog...
write what dear arhx...many thing about her bf...
but me leh???
when she together with me...
she have write about me at her blog? HAVET
she have call me dear arhx...ling arhx...laogong arhx...at her facebook? HAVET
she have write in her msn..."luv u so much"? OSO HAVET
but now she together with he...what oso HAVE...

Haiz...
until this time...i think i c her blog i will not hurt...bcoz i no her bf again...
haiz...
mana tahu...
oso will hurt...
i c...she like very happy with her bf now...
what oso write at her blog about her bf de thing...
but me...lian i help she celebrate her birthday tat day oso havet say dao me...
one thanks you oso havet...
one love me so much oso havet...
but now...her bf bring she go out shopping oni...
oredi can say dao her very happy in her blog...
haiz...
may be i rili...................................

i rili dont know y...
until now oso cant forget she...
everyday will miss she...
may be i rili love her lar...
but oso havet use de lar...now sh oredi love another person...very very very love lagi...
haiz...lazy write oredi...
night lar......